Being Right is Not Wrong

It is an inconvenient movie in an inconvenient location. I can hear it, I can see the remote from where I am sitting, but I can’t get up the desire to go and turn Al Gore off. Sure, no one is watching the TV but I only have so much energy to deal with myself.

I guess I’ll just have to wait for the snow to start reeking havoc with our power grid to have the TV turn off itself.

Don’t worry, I’m not listening to him anymore. I turned up my music.

Now, to continue my letter to the CBC to complain about the influence of American politicians on our National broadcaster. What about the Canadian content? We need more HOCKEY!

I’m not sure if this policy is very effective at promoting tourism in Germany.

The German government in Berlin later ordered the Somali pirates released because they were not caught while harassing German interests, according to BBC.

The only thing I can say is that I hope they released them into the waters about 15 miles off shore with cement boots on.

Reporting from inside _________ Airport where thousands of angry and frustrated travelers are stranded, this is __________ with ______ news. They aren’t getting the answers they need from Air Canada. _______ is trying to get from Montreal to Newfoundland. He gets put on a flight… it is cancelled, repeat.

Every year, the same old news broadcasters send out the same old reporters to cover the same old story. Let me help with some advice.

1. Don’t fly Air Canada. If another airline is too expensive, take the bus instead. You will probably arrive around the same time at your destination as the Air Canada flight will.
2. Winter doesn’t start in December in Canada. If you aren’t from around here, assume that it will start in September and will end some time in June. Ignore the season listings on your Calendar.
3. If you are wanting to travel during the Christmas season, give yourself an extra week to get there and an extra two weeks to get back.
4. You are flying at one of the busiest times of the season, expect long lines. Bring a friend and a deck of cards. The house of cards you build together will be as stable as the weather.
5. If you are interviewed by a news reporter, have fun with them. Pretend you are in the NHL and use some quality clichés about giving 110%. Repeat clichés regardless of the question asked.
6. Wear a “Global Warming, Please Start Here!” shirt. You’ll find out who you can’t trust really quickly. They’ll be the ones arguing with you, telling you that the awful weather is actually climate change and not winter.
7. If you are near the front of a line, invite someone near the back to go ahead of you. The thanks you get will be worth the whining from the other thousand people.

If you are in Canada, it isn’t unexpected to be stranded in an airport during a blizzard in December. It is also very normal for Air Canada to suck. Why in the world is that news?

You ran an amazing campaign with the full support of the media and the desire to dispose of an unpopular president.

Now lets see what you can do with the Kos kids wanting you to give them what you promised.

I can’t help but think that as the NYT and CNN teams were reading this, they weren’t realizing it was mockery.

Also, can anyone else see a 22 year old Obama supporter asking all his friends why the reporter was writing that funny English?

via SDA

Five kids who were just added to the No Fly List. [via]

Is Obamaism considered a cult yet?

Canada is on the whole a gentler, softer and more liberal nation — but there is also less freedom, opportunity, prosperity, competition and dynamism. Canada is well-loved by other nations — but the country has little diplomatic or military clout.

From the WaPo Oops… Wash Times. [via]

Personally, I would rather have Obama than Jack! but only if he comes in third place like Jack! I like Obama because he brings out the Hope and Change in the left rather than the regular despair and complaining. Sorta.

The best 5 minutes of the US Congress in 2008.

[via]

Rewriting the news so it more accurately reflects life….

What CNN said is in the blockquotes. My rewrite of each section.

Britney Spears makes bizarre apology

Britney Spears is bizarre

Britney Spears apologized for attacking a photographer’s car with an umbrella in February, saying that at the time she was preparing to try out for a movie part and got carried away.

Britney Spears made herself look like her brain cell was on power saving mode when she tried to apologize for doing the KGB on a paparazzi’s car by saying she was only wanting to be an actress and she saw how being stupid worked for other people with no talent.

The incident took place during the same period in which she shaved her head, got new tattoos and was seen partying hard in Los Angeles clubs.

It was just one of a series of publicity mistakes brought on by alcohol and drug use.

“I apologize to the pap for a stunt that was done 4 months ago regarding an umbrella,” Spears said in a statement posted Wednesday on her Web site.

I haven’t been in the news for a few months so I’m going to bring up something stupid I did so the media will pay attention to me again.

“I was preparing my character for a roll (sic) in a movie where the husband never plays his part so they switch places accidentally. I take all my rolls very seriously and got a little carried away. Unfortunately I didn’t get the part.”

That speaks for itself but a line was missing from the end. It should read, “I take all my rolls very seriously and got a little carried away. Unfortunately I didn’t get the part because the movie people said they wanted people that knew how to act.”

Not long after the incident, Spears checked into rehab.

Years too late, Spears checked into rehab for the first time of many.

0 for 10.

WASHINGTON (AP) — A security guard at Walter Reed Army Medical Center opened fire at another guard Wednesday outside a busy entrance to the hospital, police said. No one was injured.

The guards had been arguing at about 8:30 a.m. when one of them fired as many as 10 shots, Lt. Jimmie Riley said.

The other guard, who was not hit, ran to a nearby house to call police, Riley said. The guard who fired the shots was taken into custody.

“We’re very fortunate,” Riley said. “It could’ve been tragic.” CNN.com

Throw the guard in jail and then fire him for not being able to hit what he was aiming at.